Dropping your child off at school can often be the most overwhelming part of your day. A million questions race through your mind. Are your kids safe? Are they having fun? Did they eat the food you packed? What will they learn? What happens if they don’t make friends?
Add to that, the stress, anxiety and tears for some kids at drop off and mornings can easily become everyone's least favorite part of the day.
I know this because I have been there. When my youngest was in preschool, she cried at every. single. drop off. These were not little tears either. It was so painful to drop her at school, that the second I was out of sight from her, I would cry.
Every time I left her in tears the same questions would run through my mind. Was I a bad Mom for leaving her? Would she remember preschool as a horrible experience? Will a friend or teacher comfort and reassure her? How long would she cry for?
Thankfully we have made it past the morning tears and my kids love going to school. I put together these tips and tricks that helped make drop off a happy experience!
Role play
Walk your child through the morning process in excruciating detail. Our mornings would look like this. Wake up, make your bed, brush your teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, pack your bags for school, shoes on, drive to school, walk to class, hug Mom, then they head into their class for a fun day! Learning the routine ahead of time can help bring comfort to your child.
Make drop-off quick
Especially If you have little ones. Don't linger. Don't chat with the teacher. Don't chat with friends in an area where your child can see you. Get in and get out. You can chat in the afternoon!
Don't let them see you cry
When my daughter cried at drop off, I made it a point to never let her see me upset. I didn't want to make her feel worse. If they see you cry they might think that you have validated they negative feelings associated with school.
Validate their feelings
Validate your child's emotions. It makes them feel seen and understood. Be vocal about it. I can see you are (enter emotion here, upset, frustrated, scared). I understand you are (enter emotion here). How can I help you feel less overwhelmed and scared at drop off. Talking through their feelings always helped my kids feel more at ease about the situation.
Read school books that will help calm their nerves
Read books with your child that address common worries and show that school can be a positive experience!
Send them with something to be close to you
When they were little, my kids wore Mommy and me bracelets at the beginning of the school year. Every time they touched it, they would be reminded of my love. Another great idea is the pocket hug. Your child places the hug in their pocket and can squeeze it anytime they need a hug! A simple heart drawn on the palm of their hand is another easy and fun idea for your child to feel close to you while they are at school.
Add lunch box notes
When my kids were little I frequently drew a picture or emoji and placed it in their lunch boxes. Now that they are older, I send along notes, jokes or riddles that I know will put a smile on their face halfway through the day.
Focus on the positives at pick up
At pick up and the drive home, I would never bring up the tears from the morning. We would talk about things that made them laugh and brought them joy while they were at school. If we discussed what happened at drop off, I made sure they were home, settled and in a happy place.
Be consistent
Routines are known to bring comfort. Once you create your morning ritual, stick with it.
Remember that there will be ups and downs with regards to how your child feels at school drop off. Even as my kids are older, there are still mornings where we have meltdowns and they don't want to go to school. Thankfully I can usually figure out why these meltdowns pretty quickly... they didn't sleep well, they have a test or one of a million other reasons.
I say all of this because I have been that Mom whose kid has had an epically traumatic drop off. I hope these tools will help you and your kids navigate through the next time they cry at school drop off. And guess what... It does get better!
